I had a fabulous holiday in Roma. Yes, Rome is everything the guidebooks say it is. But this isn’t about Rome. Not really.

We used Ryan Air for our travel since, frankly, it was really inexpensive and we didn’t know any better. So, here I am, flying to Rome, leafing through the ubiquitous in-flight magazine. Here it is, Ryan Air Magazine, Feb/Mar 08. Page 27. It’s some dude’s* idea of what to do when you’re in Rome to get the most out of €100.

Take a good look at suggestion #3.

Can’t read the small print? Here, let me enlarge it for you:

Still too hard to read? Just check out the article directly on their website.

3 FAKE DESIGNER BAG
Trastevere has a host of stalls selling all manner of bags, from late afternoon. And be prepared to haggle. €10

OK Ryan Air, I just want to make sure I understand this correctly;

I arrived at the airport the required 3 days early.

I answered asinine questions about whether or not someone else had handled my baggage. Do you trip up many terrorists with that puzzler?

I waited in a security line with 250 other weary travellers.

I dutifully placed my Lilliputian bottles of shampoo, deodorant, ChapStick and mascara in a quart-sized ziploc bag. I was forbidden to bring my own bottle of water, and all liquids, pastes, creams, mousses, gels, whips and frappes over 100ml had to be packed in my checked bags, which you would not allow me to lock.

I removed my shoes, belt, jacket, keys, spare change, jewelry, phone, laptop battery, iPod, underwire bra and dignity and placed them on the x-ray conveyor while my husband received the mother of all pat-downs.

Someone surly and/or on a power trip and/or who had recently given up smoking confiscated my tweezers, nail clippers, knitting needles, “excess” baby formula and combo mini-flashlight/screwdriver key chain.

I was allowed exactly 3 matchbooks and zero lighters. Not a smoker, myself, I learned that three dozen matches is not nearly enough to do any damage at all, while a disposable lighter is darn near apocalyptic.

And yet, after all these precautions, I find that the airline itself is promoting the sale of Fake Designer Bags. Forget about the fact that the money from the sale of counterfeits goes to fund forced child labor, organized crime and, yes, in some cases, terrorist groups. Forget that.

Fakes are illegal, even in Italy. And Italy is starting to crack down–on not just the sellers, but the buyers as well. Great. So, you’re actually going to recommend I break the law while I’m on holiday in a foreign country? Does my round-trip ticket come with international bailment services and/or legal counsel?

Seriously?

BTW, Ryan Air customer service only accepts complaints via mail or fax to Ireland:

Ryanair Customer Standards
Corporate Head Office
Dublin Airport
Co Dublin
Ireland

Fax +353 1 8121213

greenc@ryanair.com = Head of Customer Service (Caroline Greene)

You can also contact RyanAirMagazine directly via this form.

Why don’t we let them know exactly how we feel about Ryan Air supporting counterfeits?

*”DJ and Rome resident Dan Cox”